I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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