I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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