I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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