FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize