I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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