I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
