just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
