I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
