and you said cock pushups were impossible
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
