I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
