38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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