I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
