i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
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As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
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That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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