how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
