i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
