all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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