She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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