i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
