so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
