I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
