Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
