"it" just moved
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
