SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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