you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
