All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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