yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I am naked and annoyed.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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