I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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