so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
