Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize