Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
