I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
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so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
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The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
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