Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
