He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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