My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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