All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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