We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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