i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
