how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
