thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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