That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
