Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
