I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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