Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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