That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
