Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
