belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
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Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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