yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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