Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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