as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
