:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
