My sheets look like a crime scene.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
