He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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