You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
