Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
