i wish peter jackson would direct porn
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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