We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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