i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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