I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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