my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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