I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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