So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
