LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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