Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
