I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
