I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
