I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
