in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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